Musings on 50

On Tuesday night, I celebrated my 50th birthday. I’m guessing 50 is NOT middle age. Realistically, middle age probably happened about five or six years ago, but we’ll see.

I can’t help but remember how when I was a “young lion” at age 17 in 1989 fresh on the New York scene, Freddie Hubbard and McCoy Tyner were 51, Herbie Hancock was 49, Ron Carter was 52, Chick Corea and Bobby Hutcherson were 48, Tony Williams was 43! I thought, “Man, those guys have been around for a long time!” My grandfather was in his mid-fifties when I was old enough to start having memories of him. My peers and big brothers like Roy Hargrove, Kenny Kirkland, Mulgrew Miller, Dwayne Burno, Tony Reedus, Wallace Roney, Geri Allen, Ralph Peterson, Jr., Charnett Moffett and so many more wondered what it would be like in our 50’s being the veteran cats passing on all the info to the younger generation. The peers and big brothers that I just named are no longer here. Some of them made it to 50, some did not. It should make me sad, but their spirits are so strong, they live forever. I suppose when I sit on my back porch in silence and stare at the sky, I could get sad, but I rarely do. I have such fond memories of them and learned so much that I get inspired. I mostly giggle at the great memories. Billy Higgins, one of my greatest teachers and mentors used to say, “We are plants. We are flowers. In order for the world to survive, we must leave to make room for new plants and flowers to grow.” Yes, we are plants. We are flowers. Flowers die, but they grow back, so they kind of DON’T die. The music we create is the earth, the dirt, water and sun that feeds and nourishes these flowers called human beings.

At age 50, I still feel close to the way I felt at 30….I think.

I now have chronic pain in my neck and it’s harder to stretch in the morning, but I do it. The last time I tried to do a James Brown split, I got down with no problem, but getting up? What a mess! Hahaha! I suppose with more stretching and weight loss, maybe I’ll get back up quicker. Maybe.

Or maybe wisdom just tells me to stop doing splits?

I hope I have more wisdom than I had at 30 and have become a better person at age 50. Probably not, but I’m going to consciously keep trying to be better at all things. I apparently come off as always in a good mood, without a care in the world. Nothing could be more incredibly inaccurate. I stress, I get sad, I often cry for no reason, I get angry, I just choose not to share every single emotion I feel with you and surely not on social media! That’s for me and Melissa, my closest friends and family. But I definitely look forward to writing my musings on 60, 70 and 80! If and when I make it to 90, I assume I’m not going to be writing about it. I’ll be too busy celebrating. Or, I’ll be too busy lounging in my chair watching my Eagles, Phillies, 76ers and Flyers telling some young cats about how cool the 90’s were.

See you at the next gig!